Struggles

When I had Madison over 3 years ago, I struggled. It was a struggle to get things done like making dinner or cleaning the house. I was lucky to get a shower or get myself dressed by noon. It was tough being a first time mom. I'll never forget it. I struggled with breastfeeding on top of it all. I honestly don't know how I managed to make it through because we also had 2 dogs & 1 of them was a puppy.

This time around I not only have a baby, but I have a 3 year old, 2 dogs (thankfully no puppy this time) & to top it all off we have a house (not a townhouse where all the yard work is taken care off) that is double the size & a decent size yard with a huge garden. This time I'm not struggling with breastfeeding. I'm not struggling to make dinner or clean the house. I am getting dressed by 9 am. The showering usually has to wait until the hubby is home or until right before bed (when the girls are both asleep). The only thing I seem to be struggling with is being able to do the things I love to do like read a good book or watch a movie.

I am also struggling with letting Paityn have a bottle. I'm afraid by doing so it will begin the demise of our breastfeeding journey. Yet, I want to have a drink & be able to leave her for a few hours to run errands or get my hair done or just go out to dinner with my husband sans kids. I'm struggling with turning Madison's car seat around. I know its time, but I just can't bring myself to do it just yet.

What's a mom to do? If its not one thing its another you struggle with. Isn't it funny how different things are when you have that second child???!

Content with life

Last night while I was laying in my bed with my husband & a baby sleeping in a bassinet next to me & a toddler down the hall asleep in her room, I realized that I am content & very happy with my life. Oh, sure I have the everyday things to complain about like the garbage needs taken out or the toddler is screaming bloody murder for no reason or even the fact that I can't just jump in the shower at any given moment, but my life is beautiful.

I have everything I ever wanted & no I'm not talking about the materialistic things, though I'm not hurting there either.

I have a loving husband who I know adores me & even at my heaviest weight & on my worst day still finds me attractive. He would give me anything I wanted and truthfully he already has. He gave me the best gifts in the world. He gave me our daughters.  I watch him with the 2 of them & I fall in love with him all over. The way he shows Madison how to do things, like fish or hit a ball with a bat & when he walks around talking to Paityn & bouncing her to keep her calm, just it makes my heart melt.

I have my little Madison, who at the tender age of 3 can break my heart in seconds & then build it right back up with 4 little words "I love you, Mommy!" She is my funny, witty, smart & beautiful girl. Some days I wonder how I got so lucky to have this little girl for my daughter. She cares about the small things like when I leave to go some where & she stays with Daddy. I give her hugs & kisses & then she will remind me that Daddy needs them too! A little picnic on the living room floor during a rainy day makes her happy.

Then there is my little Paityn. Almost 10 weeks old, but brightens my days with her sweet smile & infectious laugh whenever she sees me even if it was only seconds ago.

Last but definitely not least my 2 crazy dogs. They make life a little hectic at times, but are too lovable & cute to forget.

Its a wonderful beautiful life! I can't believe its mine. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up & it will all be gone, but I get up every morning & thank God that I get another day of it.

I hope anyone reading this experiences this feeling of udder happiness & contentedness!