Rough & Tired - Just want a break

Its been pretty rough around here. Mostly because Madison isn't sleeping well at night, but also because of my rotator cuff issue. This issue has made it hard to do simple things like feed my little girl. Its not like I can rest my right arm with a 7 month old around. She loves to play and be held up in the air like she's a flying baby, but there is also the stuff I can't stop doing, like carrying her up the stairs to go to bed or putting her in her high chair and feeding her.

Tuesday at PT they did some electro-stimulation to my shoulder. It didn't seem to help right off the bat, but within about 24 hours the pain calmed down some, not that its gone by any means. Now I'm just waiting to go to PT and see what they think about my progress and if its possible for me to take a week off to go visit family and friends. *crossing my fingers*

I know it kills them all to be away from Madison and not see her often because it kills me that Madison can't see them often. I want her to know them, to have a bond with them. I don't want her to one day go there and freak out because she doesn't remember them. I'm trying my best, but I wish some of them would come to us and see us more often. It would definitely make it easier on us sometimes.

On another note: Bailey decided to take off on my Tuesday evening. I was just getting ready to hook him on the tie out, out back and he shot outdoor running like a deer around to the front. I had to grab some treats and took Maggie out the door with me as enticement for him. I figured I'd go around front and look for him, if he wasn't there I'd go back in and wait to see if he came back. Luckily, some teenage boy was walking a dog in our little complex and Bailey was trying to play with his dog.  Well, of course as soon as Maggie saw the other dog she was right there too. Bailey  saw Maggie ran to her and then ran back to the other dog. I got close enough that they both saw me and came over to me. Bailey must of smelled the treats in my pocket because he sat right in front of me. Maggie followed suit. I pulled 2 out of my pocket and showed them and started walking back, Apologizing the poor kid who had to deal with my dogs while trying to walk his in this cold. Thankfully, both dogs followed me. As soon as we got back I got Bailey hooked up and sent Maggie inside.

Mommyhood is making me want to scream right now

First, let me say I love my baby girl, but she is being so difficult lately. She was sleeping so nicely through the night and all of a sudden Friday night the crying and screaming mulitple times throughout the night began. The napping has been ok. This morning she's fighting me to eat. She took a 2 hour morning nap and now will not take an afternoon nap. She fought me on eating lunch too.

I don't know what is causing this wonderful little issue. She isn't sick. I can't see or feel any teeth come in. If this continues for another day or two, we are going to the pedi!

Some Relief

Friday, I finally went to PT for my headaches, shoulder & neck pain. Not only are the headaches caused from the tight muscles but adding to it is a weak rotator cuff in my right shoulder. You know its bad when your left arm is stronger than right arm (that is when your right handed). I have some stretches to do for all the issues, plus using some heat from the heating pad. I get to go to PT twice a week. I'm suppose to drink out of a straw (to keep from using my neck and causing more pain). There are a bunch more things I'm supposed to do and I'm not suppose to do but there is no way can follow them all with having a 7 month old baby in the house and no one to help 5 days out of the week. I took the muscle relaxers on Friday night. They did absolutely nothing for me. Everyone (Physical therapist and Dr and others who have taken them) kept telling me that they would knock me out, which I needed the sleep, but nothing. I guess its on to suffering with it.

GRRR Set backs!

Well, I've had a setback in working out. I've been having a headache off and on for 5 days now. I tried working out through it on Monday and I just couldn't manage a full workout. I think I managed 10 mins on the treadmill and that was it. So I went to the Dr today and she diagnosed me with Cervicogenic Headaches. Its basically a headache caused my a tensed muscle. In my case its the muscle that goes from the base of my head down my neck and into my shoulder. This then explains my neck and shoulder pain as well. Its all on the right side. Well, the Dr is sending me to physical therapy. My first appt is Friday, so until I get the ok to go ahead I can no longer work out! I'm pissed about it, but happy I have answers. The Dr prescribed me muscle relaxers too, but I can't take those because I'm alone with the baby and they can make me so sleepy I may not hear her in the middle of the night or be able to function enough to take care of her.

Trying week

This has been a trying week for a few reasons. First is because I have both dogs here and Bailey doesn't really like to listen to me. I've been trying to work with him everyday in hopes that, it only takes some time with me for him to realize that I am an authority figure. It seems to be working, but slowly. Also it feels like if I'm not picking up after Madison, I'm picking up after the dogs.

Then there is me trying to fit in working out. Its harder to do than I thought, especially when Madison won't nap like she use to. Monday I got in my 20 mins on the treadmill. Tuesday nothing. Wednesday I fit in 30 mins on the treadmill and 20 mins of the excerises with the balance ball. Today I fit in 25 mins on the treadmill and 20 mins of excerises with the balance ball though Madison was in her jumper for the balance ball portion.

Madison's napping has been horrible this week. She's been so all over the place. 90 mins here, 30 mins there. It use to be 2 - 90 min naps a day. Today she did 2 - 45 min naps. I just want her to be consistant and well rested.

I've felt kind of isolated this week too. No one has had the time to talk to me and I'm stressing. I have no other way to release than to scream into a pillow (which I did a few times this week). I have yet to decompress from the fight over the weekend either. I just want the hubby home and some time off.

Finally!

With all the stressing that has become my life since well, getting pregnant, I have finally started working out again. I'm doing it mostly to de-stress, but also to get in better shape and hell, if I lose a little weight in the process awesome.

My stress isn't anything more than the everyday stuff of is Madison eating enough? getting enough sleep? Do I sit and play with her enough? Should she play by herself more? Is she hitting all her milestones? Is Dan being gone so much effecting her? Not to mention that even though I'm married I'm a single mom Monday thru Friday, its tough on me, its tough on Dan for being gone. Lets not forget about the financial stresses since the economy still sucks. The do I need to go get a job? What will having both of us working do to Madison? Where can I cut spending so that we can survive without me getting a job if necessary? Will we ever be solid enough to build our house? And the worries go on, but you get the point. That 25 minutes I spent on the treadmill took all that stress building up away. I feel 100 times better and its only day 1 of working out.

The getting into shape. Lets face it I really need to do that. Madison is going to be mobile any time now. If I don't start getting into to shape I'm going to be trying to catch my breath while chasing her around as a toddler. Not too mention if we are going to have a second child I may end up chasing 2 at the same time. I'd like to start getting into shape now so that if/when we end up pregnant it won't be a big deal for me to continue with working out.

Yes, I need to lose weight. I lost my baby weight within about 2 months of having Madison, but I have more weight to lose. My goal is not to lose weight though because I know it will just get me down to go week to week without losing and then I'll stop, but I don't want to stop, so I'm not making it a goal for working out. I'd love to lose while I'm at it, so I'll just keep my fingers crossed that it happens. I have a thyroid issue so its really hard for me to lose weight.

So here is my little plan to being with. I'm sure I'll add more as I go. I want to at least get 30 minutes on the treadmill every other day (if Madison allows I will do more) and on the days I am not on the treadmill I want to get at least 30 minutes on my balance ball. If I keep this up for at least 1 month I will look into either adding a new piece of equipment to my house or looking into a gym.

Cross your fingers, send words of encouragement. I really want to do this!