2012 Year in Review!

I remember starting they year with bad news. It was just into the New Year that I had been trying to cope with the news that my Grandpa was diagnosed with liver & pancreatic cancer. I knew that moment that he would not be celebrating another year with us. Shortly, after that diagnosis, we found out that it had moved to his brain. He did some chemo & it made him sick so he talked to his doctor & they did radiation treatments for him. I drove to be with him & spend time with him numerous times throughout the beginning of the year.

February brought some news that I needed to deal with. I found that my liver counts were off & I was to spend the next 6 weeks without any pain meds & alcohol. Alcohol was never the problem. Not being able to take tylenol & advil for my ever growing headaches. At last I found relief in finding & going to a chiropractor. So when 6 weeks were up I was pain free & my liver counts were normal again.

March came to really buckle down on the planning for the new house. It also was when Grandpa decided to end treatments. It was toward the end of March when I was told to come quickly because they weren't sure how long we had with him. I did my best & got there. It was improving though. He realized he could not go home though because he needed more care than could be handled there. So we got him transferred to a nursing home.

April was the worst month but one of the most exciting of all. We gathered for Easter at the nursing home to celebrate with Grandpa. Pretty sure it would be our last holiday with him. Hubby & I also broke ground on our new house! I was ecstatic & still felt that I needed to be elsewhere. So a few days after ground breaking I left to go back to IL to visit Gramps & be near by. I went in on a Friday & saw him. He had declined quite a bit in the week or so I was gone. He new who I was for minutes at time & then thought I was someone else. After visiting him I went to my mom's for the weekend. Her & I made plans to go visit Gramps Monday afternoon together. Well, we didn't get our plan as Gramps had other plans. It was Monday, April 23rd, when my mom called me to tell me I needed to come get her & get to Gramps. They were sure that this was going to be it. We had called the whole family & they were on their way as well. I can't tell you how grateful I was for that finally day with him. For that time to be by his side. I will never forget rubbing his shoulder & telling him its ok to go. We love you! As much as I dreaded that moment to come, I would never take it back. I think it made grieving a little easier. We laid him in his final resting place 5 days later.

May was kind of a blur as the grieving was still happening & also building our house. I had to take each day one at a time because it was difficult after such a great loss to move forward.

June was much better. We celebrated Madison's 2 nd birthday with a blast of a party for her. We had water balloon fights & all. It was during this that I noticed & realized that Gramps was gone but he was forever with us. He was with mom when she went around the house & pulled the hose on Grams. He was with Grams when Grams was just shooting everyone with her water gun having a great time. He was there as the day went on. He was watching all of us. It was this day, that made it possible for me to move forward without feeling guilty about leaving him in that cemetery.

July was hot & filled with fun of celebrating 4th of July. We had a blast with hubby's family for the family reunion & the 4th celebrations! It couldn't have been better.

August was the best month of all. It was this month that my daughter took her first trip without mommy. She went to Alabama with my parents. She had a blast & was spoiled rotten. It was also the month we got the offer on our townhouse & the weight had been lifted off our shoulders! Then the best of all things. It was this month that we found out we were expecting #2!!!! I couldn't believe it. It was then that I figured out my due date. April 28th! It was as if this baby was meant to show me that everything comes full circle. My baby is due a year after we laid Gramps to rest. She will have the greatest guardian angel ever!

September was a little difficult as I had to pack our home so we could move. It was bitter sweet as we had brought Madison home to that townhouse. We had watched our love grow. It was the one place that had brought me comfort when I couldn't be with my family. However, we were moving to our dream home finally! After years of talking about doing it! We were!

October was just settling in to the new house. Nothing too exciting. Unless you count Trick or Treating with Madison for Halloween! She was the cutest Minnie Mouse!

November was more of the same. Though there was Thanksgiving with the family.

December brought us the Christmas spirit! We got to decorate & spend time with our families. We also had our ultrasound. We found out we were having another Girl & that she was a healthy baby too!  Hubby has also started the bedroom in the basement so we can still have a guest room after baby gets here.

All in all 2012 was a good year for us, even if we lost someone so near & dear to us. I can't wait to see what 2013 brings besides babies! As I already know 4 babies that will be born in 2013! 1 in January, ours in April & 2 babies in July! Cannot wait to see & hold the squishy babies!

Week 23 of Pregnancy

How far along? 22 weeks 4 days

Total weight gain: 11 lbs

Maternity clothes? Yes, since about 7 weeks

Stretch marks? a few new ones on my belly & some on the boobs (don't even want to think about how big those are now)

Linea Nigra:  Still Not yet (never had one with Madison, so...)

Sleep: There is alot of changing sides because my hips start to hurt & some pregnancy insomnia. Also getting up 2 times a night to pee doesn't help either

Times you Potty a Night: 2 times a night

Best moment of the week: Christmas with DH's family

Miss anything?  Sandwiches - regular non-toasted Jimmy Johns sandwiches

Movement: Yes, I'm getting kicked & punched daily. Still Can't wait for hubby to be able to feel it too!

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Not at all.

Cravings: Jimmy Johns, but alas can't have it because they don't toast their subs

Gender prediction:  Doesn't matter anymore because its a girl
Gender: GIRL

Labor signs:  No. Just some Braxton Hicks every now & again

Symptoms:  The bump in front, some sore boobs, & pregnancy insomnia, but thats about it.

Aches & Pains:  A sore lower back from carrying the bump & a sciatic nerve pain

Belly button in or out? In (never popped out with Madison, so I'm curious if it will stay that way)

Wedding rings on or off? So far on, but I think they are going to be coming off soon as they are getting much tighter now.

Happy or moody most of the time? Happy, uncomfortable & way excited that I have 4 more months left. 

Looking forward to: Heading to my mom's this weekend to see them for Christmas. 

Christmas Thinking

As Christmas Day closes in, I am beginning to think more & more about the past. Mostly, in the forefront of my mind are the Christmas pasts with my grandpa. I wish as an adult I had taken a little more time to be with him Christmas morning to watch the parade on tv. I wish I had taken Madison to watch with Grampy. I know I cannot change the past, but at least I can now alter my future to make sure I do things that may not seem important to me, but may be important to someone else.

This is why I have agreed to go stay at my in-laws tomorrow night. I love them & love visiting them. I just didn't want to be there when someone else was staying with them. Its a little snug with more people, but I have figured out this is not important. Whats important is that my in-laws get a Christmas morning with Madison & the rest of us.

I have also been thinking about how blessed I am. I am blessed to have this new beautiful home that we built, a loving, caring husband, a gorgeous, smart daughter, a new healthy baby on the way, 2 awesome dogs & all the wonderful extended family & friends. I really could not ask for more in my life.

I can honestly say I have everything I ever wanted & have nothing I would ask Santa for that he could bring me at least. The only thing I would ask Santa for is more time. More time with Madison being little, more time with my husband curled up together, more time that I can spend with my parents, grandma, & the rest of my family & with my husband's family & our friends.

Knowing that I can't get what I want from Santa, I will ask Santa to bring all of you everything you want & could possibly ask for. I hope that you are as blessed as I am. So what would you ask Santa for?

Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year!

In the wake of the CT tragedy...

There isn't much I can say about the tragedy in CT. All I can do is pray for those families who lost their little ones & for those families who lost loved ones because they stood & defended other little ones. Its a horrible situation. One I hope never happens again, but in this day & age can we really believe that it won't? Especially, after so many other massacres at other places like the Colorado Theater.

How are we now suppose to feel comfortable allowing our children to go back to school, day care or honestly, any where else, but in our arms. I know I held my daughter tighter & even to this day I hold her tighter & longer. I kiss her more than I probably need too & more than a 2 1/2 year old even wants.

Being pregnant during this tragedy, makes things a little harder. How am I going to bring a child into a world that seems so filled with evil?  There is no turning back now, but how do I feel comfortable with this? How do I know my children will be safe out there?

I guess it boils down to faith. I have to have faith that it will all be ok & my children will be safe. Otherwise my only option is to shield them from everything, but if I do that, how will they learn to take care of themselves?

My other option is to arm myself. I do not want a debate about this, but I believe in the 2nd amendment. If some bad person is going to be armed I feel the need to protect myself & my family. You bet that I am going to start taking gun safety classes & possibly even get myself a conceal carry permit. I have some research on laws & what not to do first.

Pregnancy week 21

Week 21 - so far has been fun with the anticipation of our anatomy scan & then having the scan. We (Madison & I) are heading to my parents today to spend some time with them & to visit my friend, Kristen & meet her new little boy, AJ. Cannot wait!

20 weeks 3 days
Baby is measuring 3 days ahead & at 14 oz.

How far along? 20 weeks 3 days

Total weight gain: 8 lbs

Maternity clothes? Yes, since about 7 weeks

Stretch marks? a few new ones on my belly & some on the boobs (don't even want to think about how big those are now)

Linea Nigra:  Not yet (never had one with Madison, so...)

Sleep: Sort of. I can fall asleep but cannot stay asleep

Times you Potty a Night: 1 time most nights 

Best moment of the week: Having my anatomy scan

Miss anything? Wine, but not even that much. I can always go get some non-alcoholic wine too. Its not as good but it does the trick.

Movement: Yes, I'm getting kicked & punched daily. Still Can't wait for hubby to be able to feel it too!

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Not at all.

Cravings: Fried Chicken & potato salad. Had it last night so thats over

Gender prediction:  Boy because everything is just way different then when I was pregnant with Madison. Plus if you go by the heart rate old wives tale it points to boy. Of course I thought boy with Madison too & she is obviously a girl
Gender: GIRL

Labor signs:  No. Just some Braxton Hicks every now & again

Symptoms:  The bump in front, some sore boobs, & pregnancy insomnia, but thats about it.

Aches & Pains:  A sore lower back from carrying the bump & a sciatic nerve pain

Belly button in or out? In (never popped out with Madison, so I'm curious if it will stay that way)

Wedding rings on or off? So far on. It still spins on my finger!

Happy or moody most of the time? Happy! Though I think my hubby might say moody. For some reason he gets on my nerves lately.

Looking forward to: Visiting family & friends this week & Christmas

Holiday Fun!

We made this weekend full of holiday cheer! Here are some pictures & a video to celebrate our weekend

Madison wearing Momma's shirt getting ready to paint some ornaments. She probably didn't even need it. She was as neat as she could be with the paint. The only place she had it was on the ornaments & on her fingers. Great job for a 2 1/2 year old!

Here are our finished products. Be surprised if you get one for a Christmas gift!

We then decided we needed to make cookies too. Here she is getting ready to help Momma make some roll out cookies.

Here She is decorating said cookies with Daddy. They did a great job! Again other than the cookies she only got frosting on her fingers & in her mouth!

My favorite. My baby girl singing Rodulph the Red Nosed Reindeer. She gets better with every time she listens to it. She is definitely her Momma's girl for this!