The end of something is the beginning of something else

*Clears throat* I have a confession to make.

I am no longer a SAHM. On Tuesday I begin my first job in 6 years, my first job in Iowa, my first job since getting married, my first job since having my babies. This is huge to me. This is the end of my SAHM life and the beginning of my working mom life.

I am worried about my babies going to day care. I am worried Paityn will feel like I abandoned her since she has never really been without me. I am worried I'll screw something up horribly. I'm worried my babies will look back at this time and only remember a mom who worked. I am worried that I have forgotten how to interact with adults outside of family. I am worried I won't be good enough at my job or at home or anywhere because all I've known in the last 6 years is being home, taking care of my babies & my puppies, tending to all things home & garden related. I'm worried about a million on one things because I am a mom.

I need for my babies to be ok & for my babies to be ok. I need my decisions to be the right ones. Which means I need for my decision to go back to work to be the right one not just for me, but for them. I need the decision to put the girls in daycare to be the right one. I need the day care I picked to be the right one. I need me to be able to work and still be worth something when I get home. I need this job to be the right job so I don't end up miserable or over tired or over worked so I don't see my family or am no good to them when I do get to be with them.

I have to take a giant leap of faith that I have made the right decisions not just for me, but for them (my girls, my husband & yes even my puppies) So what I ask you to please, please send your good thoughts to us, pray that the decisions I have made really are good for my family.

With all that said I am excited. I am excited that Madison will be going to preschool. Their daycare has a preschool curriculum where she will learn numbers, letters, and so much more. She wants to go to school so she finally gets what she wants. I am excited that I get to get out and have adult interactions. I am excited to contribute to the household. I am excited to see how Paityn will grow in a day care and interact with the other kids (all girls by the way).