Wish the past would stop haunting me 2

Yep, there are many more memories I have that show my bio-father as well an ass. The ones that stick out the most though are the things he didn't show up for. My brother's and my Jr High & High school graduations. He told us he would be there, but he never showed for them. He came later saying he had a flat tire and had to get a new one, so we asked him to see the receipt for it and he then confessed that he just didn't want to run into or deal with my mom. Really? Mom always tried to be civil to him though I'm sure it was hard for him as he always owed her money for our medical expenses and what not, but when it came to something that was celebrating us or about us, she stayed civil.

When I turned 18, he filed to stop child support. This was understandable, but my mom was going to put that money towards my college. Ok, what you need to know here is that when they divorced my mom had it put in their divorce decree that he would split college costs 50/50 after financial aid. So my mom countersued for the money for my tuition, which he fought. At this time, my father and I were getting along and I told him I didn't want to be involved and that I didn't care how my tuition got paid for as long as it got paid for. Well, they had a court date and my mom brought me the transcripts because he told the judge that I would testify against my mom and a few other things. Well, needless to say I called him and asked him about it and he denied it until I told him I had the transcripts. This was the beginning of the end of our relationship.

At the end of December (mind you I was in my first semester of college) I got the dreaded phone call. My mom called to tell me that he had hired a hot shot lawyer (mom was doing this on her own) that he'd rather pay than to pay for my college. She asked me what I wanted her to do. To continue with the suit or drop it. I told her to let me call him and talk to him. I sure did call him. I asked him why and you know what he told me? He told me it was her fault they were in court, her fault their marriage ended & that she had cheated on him when they were married with my stepfather (the man who is actually my dad). Oh, this set me off. This is something you don't do. You don't talk crap about my mom, not when she was the one that was always there for us. I told him this "It was your fault that you are going to court because all you had to do was leave the child support order in place or say "yes I will pay for 1/2 my daughter's tuition" and do so! 2. It was your fault the marriage ended because you were the one who chose alcohol and drugs over your family. I don't blame her for leaving you, I applaud her for it. 3. I don't care if she cheated on you or not with him. Its none of my business, but if she did good for her for finding a better man!" I then proceeded to tell him that he was only a sperm donor and that my dad was Brian (my stepfather) because he was the one that acted more like a father to me than he ever did. And I told him to take his money and shove it up his ass! Yes I actually said this. This call had been the end of our relationship.

I called my mom back. I told her what had happened and her reaction was to fight harder for it. When I got home from break Mom and I went to meet with a lawyer who guided her through some paperwork to file in Chicago and then referred us to a lawyer that could help us in Cook County. 

Things don't stop there. I got a call from one of my cousins from my Dad's side yelling at me about how I just wanted money and that I was not welcome anymore and how if anything happened to our Grandma that I shouldn't show my face and blah, blah, blah. Our Grandma lived a town over for years without telling us. She never called. We were the children, was it our job to forge a relationship with her?

Truth be told I just couldn't understand how he wouldn't want to help his children have a better life. Isn't that your job as a parent to protect your children and to want and to try to give them a better life even if that means you have to do without stuff?

To be continued...