2 months later

Its been a little over 2 months since Grandpa left us. I've been moving forward & doing the normal everyday stuff & just plain living life. He would have wanted that for all of us. I really have been doing fine with it, but there have been a few times I've caught myself just crying over the last few weeks.

The first was Madison's birthday which was also her party. It was the first family gathering that he wasn't physically there with us. It made me sad to know I wouldn't see him that day, but I know he was watching & probably laughing as we had a major water fight in the backyard at Mom's. He would have loved it.

Another time was just driving through Antioch, IL to go to Walmart. Why this would make me think of him & make me sad? Well, the only thing I could think of was that he was born & lived in Antioch as a boy.

Once again last night too. I was putting Madison to bed & I started tearing up. She is just such a big girl & so well behaved for a 2 year old. She says "Yes, momma" "Please" & "Thank You" all the time, plus almost never throws fits. She does as she is told about 95% of the time. It made me sad that my Gramps won't get to be here while she grows & see her love of fishing already (ok love of fishing poles at least). It made me sad that she won't go fishing with Gramps.

I know, he is watching all the time. I know he will see all of this, but its not the same as him being here, physically with us. I miss him still & I know I always will.  I just wish the water works would stop already.

The funny part is we cleaned out his shed a few weeks ago & nothing triggered this reaction there. Speaking of cleaning out the shed, my hubby went back to look at some of Gramps tools & ended up bring home an old Snoopy fishing pole for Madison to use. Its one I used as a kid & so did a lot of my cousins! He wants to go back & grab one of his old fishing poles too, that I would have used as a kid, if for nothing else, but to have a piece of Gramps here. I love my husband even more for this. He knows how important this man was to me & what a huge part of my life he was.