9 months!

Yes its a few days late, but my baby is 9 months old! She is a happy healthy 9 month old tiny baby!

At her 9 month check up she came in at 15 1/2 lbs (5%) & 27 1/2 inches (50%). They are happy with her growth as she is still following her growth curve.

She is so happy

She loves to eat! Some of her favorites are raspberries, meatloaf, sausage, eggs & cheese.

She was not a fan of the snow

She likes her jumper

loves her car

Loves to rock on her Giraffe

Some of her tricks are as follows:

Clapping
sitting up
belly crawling (almost crawling on all 4s)
Trying to pull herself up to a stand

She says mama & dada & does lots of mimicking
She tries to do the things her sister does
When you say Oh No She puts both her hands on her forehead

All in all these last 9 months have been incredible watching her grow up, but the best part is watching her bond with her sister grow & seeing what an amazing big sister Madison can be too. I love them both with everything in me. Look at their faces though! Who wouldn't love them!

Putting it out there- I have PPD

Well, one of my biggest fears when I was pregnant was that I would end up with postpartum depression (PPD).

I did great after Madison was born. Didn't get PPD. It was a huge relief. I figured I was safe & wouldn't get it after having any other babies.

I got pregnant with Paityn . The fear of PPD creeped in, but I kept it at bay by reminding myself that I didn't get it with Madison so I was in the clear. After having Paityn relief washed over me because I was happy. The happiest I have ever been. I had 2 healthy happy girls. Then at the end of September it was like someone flipped a switch. I had no warning. It hit me. I was not myself. I started yelling a lot. My poor baby, Madison took the brunt of it mostly because of her 3 yr old antics & not behaving. I feel so awful for how much I yelled at her. I thought it was not enough sleep or just the behavior was wearing my patience so thin, but then this weekend she cried because she thought I was going to be mad at her because her daddy wasn't hungry for lunch. That's what did it. I knew when Dan told me that, there had to be something else at work. So I vowed to talk to my Doctor about it.

Today was my appointment. I dreaded this day because she could tell me there was nothing wrong with me which would mean I was just plain old mean to my baby for no reason at all or she would tell me I had PPD (not an excuse for being mean to my baby & trust me I am having a hard time forgiving myself for all the yelling & how much it hurt her).

Well, PPD was my answer. Its mild, but still being put on antidepressants. Not what I wanted by any means, but its treatable. It can be overcome. I am still trying to wrap my head around it, but I will get there.

In the meantime I have a few questions for the Dr about the meds before I start them. I am also going to make it all up to Madison. I don't care how many movies & TV shows or crafts or whatever she wants to do, I have to do to make her at least forget the mean mommy who yells. For the first time in a long time she snuggled up with me & told me I was the best. 

2014 Resolutions

2014 Resolutions or Maybe I should call them TO DO List instead. I read somewhere that it takes 21 days to make something a habit. So if I can get through 21 days it will be a habit instead of a resolution, right?

What started this, this late into 2014? Well, my 3 yr old telling me she was fat, that's what did it! So here we go.

2014 TO DO LIST
1. Stop calling myself fat & start thinking of myself in better terms like healthy!
2. BE HEALTHY!

• Eat Right
• MOVE, MOVE, MOVE
• Lose some weight

3. Show my girls that anything can be done when you put your mind to it!
4. Work on my relationship with my husband by doing more together (it seems like we aren't connecting on a daily basis because of busy schedules)
5. Find the patience that I once had for my 3 yr old & use it more often!
6. Stop yelling!
7. Get our Electrician back here to finish the electrical work in the basement!
8. Find a way to keep Bailey from running away.
9. Menu plan & shop accordingly
10. Save, save, save!
11. Sell the baby stuff! We aren't having anymore so its time to start getting rid of it & make more room in the house.
12. Make Paityn & Madison's blankets that I have been wanting to do.
13. Spend lots of time outside this Spring/Summer/Fall with the girls (since Paityn will be older & hopefully toddling around by then)
14 Spend more time playing play doh & painting & all the messy things I have been avoiding because I don't want to clean it up.
15. Involve Madison more in chores & making dinner.


I can do this! I can do this! 21 days to make some good habits!

Rocking my baby

I sit here at 11 pm with your little body nestled into mine, Paityn. Sucking your thumb & starting to fall asleep. I know I should put you in your crib at this point but I can't bring myself to do it. It won't be long before these moments midnight snuggles fade away & you become a sassy 3 yr old like your sister.

I wish time could stand still for a while. You girls are growing so fast & I don't have a rewind button on your babyhood or your sister's either. I am trying to store as many memories as possible for you both, but its hard & I just want to enjoy you two.

Oh Paityn & Madison! You girls have my heart in your little hands. My heart is overwhelmed with love for you that I have a hard to not bursting into tears all the time. Tears of joy, joy you both have brought me & tears of hurt & pain because I feel every owie you get in my heart. Why you ask? Because each of you is a part of my heart. Some day when you are Mommies, you will understand.

Just do me a favor & don't grow so fast.

Happy 1/2 Birthday, Paityn!

Oh Paityn, where has the last 6 months gone? Last thing I knew you were itty bitty & then I blinked & you are this 6 month old little girl.

You love to eat solid food. Anytime I put you in your high chair you scream your head off until I feed you. You squeal & laugh when ever I bounce you on the couch cushion or the bed. You smile at your daddy every time he comes into the room. You have learned to shake your head no. You sit up pretty good, but are still trying to figure out how to get moving. I know for a fact that the minute you figure out this crawling thing you are going to really become a handful. You love bath time especially when you get to splash around in the tubby with your big sister. You watch Madison like a hawk. You are starting to babble up a storm, which means I will have 2 girls who don't stop talking! One of your favorite things to do now a days is to make your excersaucer rock.

Oh, these last 6 months have been awesome because I got to watch you grow. I can't wait for the next 6 months to see what they bring as well as to see you grow your whole life.

Blink & time goes by

How is that over a year has gone by since we moved into this house? I'm having a hard time with that because it seems like we just moved in yesterday. I know its not the case because I was pregnant when we moved in & now I have a beautiful almost 5 month old sitting here in her excersaucer playing.

Time just seems to go by quicker the older I get or is that just because I have kids?  Its hard to believe that 2 kids can grow so fast, but they do. Take a baby for example. As a newborn as in hours old, what do they do? Eat, sleep, pee & poop, right? By 5 months old they can smile, laugh, follow movement, turn their heads to noises they hear or to look for mommy or daddy & start mimicking sounds. Some can even sit up at this point & others may already be on their way to crawling, Hell, I've seen video of one that can pull themselves up to a stand & even take a few steps holding on to a piece of furniture (crazy earlier & thankful its not my kid!) They learn & grow so fast that at times like with Madison I don't remember her ever not talking. I have to ask her every now & then where she learned things because truth be told I don't remember teaching her or anyone else teaching her certain things. She is 3 & knows her abc's the song (we are still working on letter & number recognition). That seemed to happen over night! She puts herself to bed 1/2 the time!

I find myself sitting there at night after both girls are off to sleep in their beds what they will wake up tomorrow & know with no one teaching them. Both of them are little sponges. I wonder when I'm going to walk into Paityn's room in the morning & find her standing there waiting for me instead of laying there happily playing. When is it that Madison will be getting up to potty all by herself in the middle of the night without any help?

Madison is already starting to need me less or at least in a different way. I don't have to get her dressed, but I do have to pick out her clothes so she matches & doesn't look like a clown when we need to go places. She'll get to pick out her shirt or pants & will just get her the other that matches it. Like today she picked out her Roll Tide Jersey, so i grabbed her a pair of black yoga pants to wear. Though she did pick out her pink Minnie Mouse socks to wear with it, but its her feet who is going to really see that!

My kids make the days go slower especially when they are cranky! They also make the years go fast! It's like I blinked & a year went by.  My mom sure wasn't kidding when she told me to not blink because once I do the next thing I'll know is Madison will be 16 & off to prom, then with another blink she will be getting married & having babies of her own. There is something to my mom's words. There always has been, too bad I never listened until I had my own babies.

What do you do to tighten your belts?

I've been the one paying our bills for years now. Since I was the one always home, but since we moved into the new house, it stresses me out! Since we moved its like the house is eating our savings up! Yes, its all stuff we needed like blinds for the windows, a snowblower, a lawnmower, weed wacker, edger & all that good stuff. We needed to build a bedroom in the basement too, so that ate up a good amount.  Then there are those things that you need to pay for like insurance. Its higher because we are in our own home instead of in the townhouse. Taxes are going up soon too & that stresses me. We also spent a good amount on canning stuff since this was the first year (jars, processing pot & all the accessories needed), but that will save us $$ in the long run this year because I won't have to buy pickles, salsa, diced tomatoes, stewed tomatoes & so on.

I have recently gone through what we have been spending the most on & it comes down to groceries & "household" things. So I have told my husband we need to stop eating out (his lunches mostly) & we need to cut way back on our munchy foods like chips, pretzels, nuts & what not. Even the beer needs to be cut back (way back).

Besides these items I've been thinking about what else I could cut out. We don't have balances on credit cards. I've already tried to refi my truck unsuccessfully to get a lower rate. I already got us on a lower cell phone plan. I think we can ditch our home phone because we never use it & it costs us $20-30 a month. I'm tied into my cable due to a contract, so I can't do much there though I will look to see if we can get a cheaper plan.

I stay home with my girls 9/10 times. I usually only leave the house to go places when we need groceries or for Dr's/Chiropractor appointments. So I don't get tempted to buy things we don't need or need gas as often since I have a gas guzzler (Trailblazer). Though I do make my trips back to IL to visit family every so often, but thinking this is going to slow down now.

On the plus side, I don't have to worry about our utilities bills being too high. It costs us the same amount here in this house as it did in the townhouse (the house is at least 2x the size 3x if you include our basement as the townhouse) because we got put in geothermal instead of your standard heating & air conditioning. I also have no gas run to the house. Everything is electric! Its great except when the power goes out, but we haven't had to really deal with that at all. We flicker during bad storms & have lost power 1 time for an hour due to a scheduled outage (they were fixing something up the road).


So what do you do to save money?