A little more looking back

So I guess I really just need to get all that off my chest because I know feel so much better. I feel as though this big huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Will it stay off of them? Or will it come back and weigh even heavier on them? I don't know, but for now I'm greatful that I had an outlet for all that stuff. I've been holding it all in for so long. It wasn't because I didn't have the support of friends or family to put it on. I guess, I just didn't want to be a burden to them. I didn't want them to feel ..... I don't know..... pity or sorry for me because of what I went through because honestly I think I had a great childhood, minus this little bit of bad stuff.

My mom once said she wished she could have given my brother and I a better Dad. She did. She just happened to marry him when I was about 12 and he came along with 3 new siblings (added bonuses). 

I admire my mom for all she has done for us. When we were little and she was basically raising us on her own she worked 2 or 3 jobs at a time. She would go without food, so that we could have more food. Sure, we ate a lot of soup and sandwiches, but she did the best she could. She moved us from the city to a suburb that was safer when she could. She supported us through the good times and the bad. She fought for us, for our education, for our health. She battled every day to make sure we did better and had better. Sure, we fought and argued and didn't get along, but thats because she cared enough to tell me I was wrong and to show me what was right. Maybe at the time I didn't understand and cursed her under my breath, but I didn't see the big picture. She was trying to protect me from making the mistakes she made. Sure she was tough, I mean come on the woman would go into my parent/teacher conferences and ask my teachers what I could do to get my A up to an A+. All she wanted was for me to be the best me possible and have more opportunities in life than she did. I thank God that she did all of this. You, know why? Because if she hadn't, I probably would have ended up pregnant at 16, not going to college and struggling to survive, so I thank her for everything.