I wish

I wish I knew what was happening with grandpa. I wish I knew that I could get there to say goodbye if its his time. I wish I could reach though the phone & give him a hug & kiss. I wish I could take him out fishing one more time & sit on a dock or the edge of the river with him even if we caught nothing. I wish I had a way to get to him in seconds instead of hours. Can someone make me one of those teleport things they had on Star Trek?

Hopefully I'll have more answers later today since Mom is going to sit with him again in order to talk to the Dr about what is going on.

I called Mom yesterday to feel him out in hopes that he might take a phone call from me. She was sitting with him. She told me he had just refused a call from my Aunt, but luckily enough for me he accepted the phone from Mom & talked to me. I could hear so much in his voice. I could hear he was tired & out of it.His words are what got me. I told him that I loved him & I got "I love you too. You know that, right?" It was as though he was trying to say goodbye without saying goodbye.

I am not ready for him to leave us & I don't think I will ever be, but I do want it to be on his time & done his way. My only comfort is that he will see Nanny again and no longer be in pain.

Please if you pray, pray for him & our family to find peace in all of this.